Chances are you have heard of someone who has gone through a divorce and has hired a divorce lawyer. It can be an ugly battle of who gets what and how much. You may also know of people who have had a divorce and things went smoothly. Sometimes divorce can come as a total surprise to the other spouse and it may take a little while for the thought of it to sink in. Sometimes things can be worked out in the relationship if both couples open up and share what’s on their minds. It is best to find a way to work through your differences through a third party mediator and then the aid of a divorce lawyer.
What to expect during divorce mediation
If divorce does seem like the only answer then it doesn’t have to be a battle over possessions. You can generally come out ahead if you and your spouse can work out things through the help of a mediator. A mediator is a completely neutral third party. They are not there to take sides and will not give you legal advice. Mediators will often play devil’s advocate and ask you some tough questions. Most likely these are questions that you may not like but need to be addressed. The mediator will usually help you layout a sensible plan that both parties can agree on. The mediation process can save you time, money, and frustration. Additionally, if children are involved, this can save them from having to see an ugly battle between couples in court. You do not have to accept the plan that has been drawn out if you are not completely satisfied with the outcome. If all is well and can work things out such as the money, property, and parenting time, you can then ask the court in writing for a divorce. In some cases, you do not have to even appear in court if you can agree to the temporary orders. If you do settle things then it is best and often recommended by the mediator for both parties to have legal counsel look over the agreement. Both husband and wife will need to have their own separate counsel for this because one divorce lawyer cannot represent both sides even if you do agree on everything.
When you get completely frustrated or angry at your spouse, the first thing you may think of is to hire a divorce lawyer. You may think that you can get even with him or her if you can get everything. However, this may not be the best course of action. Even if you are completely angered by the other spouse, vengeance by lawyer can often be a deal with the devil. If you tell your lawyer that you want to make the other party pay for whatever grief they have caused you, chances are they will. Often times when one spouse tells their lawyer to get even, the other spouse will tell their lawyer the same thing. This can lead to a brutal battle and if children are involved it can hurt them. In fact, a third party lawyer may be brought in to represent the children during custody disputes. This generally leads to heartache and sorrow, especially for the children involved. This is why it is recommended to sit down with a mediator first in addition to hiring a divorce lawyer. Often matters can be resolved peacefully if both parties remain civil about the process.